Up until Sept. 16th of last year, I was living each day with constant stress and worries. I had a never ending to do list for my life and work life. I always had a vague sense in the back of my mind that I was forgetting something and would often lay awake at night going over everything I needed to do in the next day or worrying that there just wasn't enough time. Finally I decided enough is enough. I wasn't happy. I was removed from many of the things I was passionate about in life. I made the drastic decision to leave my job and pursue some personal dreams...and ultimately move back to MI. In my decision to leave and move home, I hoped to do some discernment, figure out what it is I really want to do and enjoy time with my family. What has this past year brought?
Travel
I have traveled to multiple state and countries. Before I left the country, I had the great opportunity to drive my little red car (now sadly gone) up the east coast and throughout the midwest visiting friends. I also took a trip to the west coast as well. I experienced amazing food, hospitality, adventure, new cultures, dangerous situations and much much more. It was always a dream of mine to spend some significant time traveling. If you include my bicycle trip from last summer, I spent 5 months on the road last year. Here is a tally:
- States Visited (some multiple times)
- Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Washington, and Oregon
- Countries Visited
- Bolivia, Peru, Israel, Romania (just the airport but it counts), Jordan, Palestine (I am choosing to refer to it as such and not the West Bank), and France
Friends and Family
If anything, this year has been full of connecting with friends and visiting with family. On my travels, I was able to connect with almost all of my greatest friends from various parts of my life. I wasn't able to get to a few (Deanna you are currently at the top of the list) and some I had some surprise drop in visits like with Allison in Connecticut and Suze in Massachusetts. We were all in the same place at the same time which doesn't happen very often. I have been able to spend much more time with family which was one of the main goals of moving home. I went to all of my cousin's weddings this summer...which is a first for me. I played a bunch of bridge with my grandma. I enjoyed many short trips for family events that normally would have been missed living out of state. I visited with each of my nieces and nephews and Leah even left me alone with all three of her's at one point (it was a success but lets just say when she walked back in the house I let out a big sigh of relief and gratefully handed her Zeke while I slopped food on plates and told the kids to eat after I had been busying them by watching a movie for longer than the approved 45 minutes from their mom).
Detroit
I was lucky enough to get a job at a bicycle shop in Detroit. A week after touching back down in the US from France, I moved my stuff to Detroit and started working. Overall, it has been pretty good. There are definitely times when I wonder what I am doing working part time at a bicycle shop in Detroit and doubt many of the decisions I made to get me to this point. But I try to remember back to the distant call or desire I felt more than a few years ago to move close to home. It might only be for a time...I have no idea at this point but it has been worth it. Even with my car getting stolen :)
Discernment...Yes and No
Spending some time in discernment about my future was also a goal...and I say yes and no because I wasn't always great about setting time aside to really think about the future...but I also determined a few things I definitely don't want to do. I found myself easily distracted by the good book I was reading or damn Netflix and it's never ending stream of watch instantly shows with every single season. In case you are wondering, How I Met Your Mother, Mad Men and Breaking Bad are all great shows...and since I last checked, all are still on instant streaming. And reading...I have had so much time just to read and not feel guilty about it. In the past, I always felt there was something else I should be doing with my time. Discernment will come but I also know I need to make a concerted effort. I am attending a retreat for former volunteers in November which a mentor friend of mine encouraged me to attend. It is still a few months out but his nudge to attend this retreat was just what I needed. I have already spent more time processing and just beginning to think about what's next.
Now I am struggling through the job market and trying to find anything. My job at the bicycle shop is just seasonal and coming to and end in the next few weeks. I am finding increased levels of compassion in myself for people who have been at this a lot longer than me. I am probably too picky but I really want to find some time of work that I am passionate about...even if that means being unemployed a little longer than I would normally care for....or continuing to work part time so I can focus more on what it is I would like to do.
It has been a great year of many ups and downs. I wouldn't take any of it back and I am sitting here wondering what the next year holds...because at this point I have honestly no idea. I haven't lost the travel bug and constantly wonder what it would be like to just pick up and go somewhere. For now, I am trying to plant my feet for a few and find some solid ground here.
1 comment:
I'm still waiting! =)
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